


Please Can That Be Me?

by echo_abendrot



Series: On A Train [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Cute, Fluff, M/M, Travel, train
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 11:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5204228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echo_abendrot/pseuds/echo_abendrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi’s heart is hurting as he sees happy, cute couples wherever he goes, which are really not helpful when he’s waiting to hear how his own love life is going to change in the very near future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Can That Be Me?

**Author's Note:**

> Based upon those multiple occasions where I saw cute couples doing cute things on trains and smiled to myself because damn that's cute. But obviously for fanfic reasons I made it into cute-but-hell-i-wish-that-were-me.  
> I don't have a beta reader or anything so sorry if you spot a mistake.

Once something becomes prominent in your life, you notice it wherever you go. It's why you think the song on the radio is a sign from a dead loved one, or why you happen to find money on the ground on the day sharing your lucky number. It becomes like a guiding light - a guardian angel delivering a message.

Alternatively, it feels like a raincloud dragging behind to remind you of how glum things are.

Akaashi Keiji could relate to that outlook. 

He didn't want to be so dramatic about something so small, but Akaashi was suffocating under the weight of these signs. Not five minutes had he been on the train and already he was getting irritated at being trapped in the small compartment with so many signs - signs so obvious they may as well be flashing neon - right in front of his face.

Calling it  _small_  feels like an insult, though. This is big. As big and bold as the loud, energetic buffoon of a captain at the heart of all of this. 

Akaashi felt hot again. On the way to the station he'd been fairly calm, despite the hundreds of scenarios ahead of him. Once on the platform, his scarf suddenly felt too tight, and his palms were sweating uncomfortably. It's like his body could sense before his eyes saw that nearby a man had his arm wrapped around the waist of his girlfriend, pulling her close enough that she could giggle into his neck. To make it worse she moved into him and playfully flicked her scarf at his nose, and they both laughed together. 

It shouldn't have bothered Akaashi as much as it did, he knew, but even so he had to look away in embarrassment. He wished it were him. Not him with the man, or with the woman, but with the one he... loved. 

Cared for. Admired. Respected. Whatever word. He wanted to be that close with Bokuto, to be able to feel his warmth and hear him laughing right in his ear. 

It was too cute to even imagine - which is why Akaashi had pushed those thoughts deep, deep down to save his head from exploding. 

Everywhere he looked, though, he was presented with another cute couple, another situation he wished he could copy with Bokuto by his side.

As soon as it started raining out on the platform, Akaashi rolled his eyes at the thought of the umbrella cliche - how many couples sharing an umbrella would the universe shove in his face, then? His train arrived before he could count any. Akaashi was glad to have escaped that sign, but another was thrown at him immediately.

He took a seat, unfortunately opposite a couple racing the raindrops at the window. 

Akaashi blushed once he realised what they were doing, and though he tried to block it out, all he could hear from then on was snippets of their whispered commentary. Water streamed down the window pane and as it did these two picked a tiny droplet of water to race; a playful battle, as if nobody else were watching, or mattered. The girl slapped her boyfriend lightly whenever he won and celebrated his victory, and he hung his head with a fake frown whenever she won and cheered. 

Bokuto came to mind immediately. He'd do that. His face would light up like the child he is -  _aah I'm gonna beat you this time, Akaashi! Look, I'm winning! Wait... noooo! Whyy?! How did that happen!?_

Akaashi looked down as he smiled at the thought. He never realised until recently how much he loved seeing Bokuto excited about even the smallest things. Then dejected mode would strike, and though that wasn't exactly cute Akaashi didn't see it as irritable - it was simply _Bokuto_ , and that was honestly enough for him.  

He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall behind him, letting it bang and shake from the vibrations of the train.

He could always stay like this for the rest of the journey. Eyes closed he couldn't see anyone else being embarrassingly cute with their other halves. How much longer would the journey last? Ten, fifteen minutes? That wasn't so bad... until Akaashi remembered what would be waiting for him on the platform. Bokuto. With an answer, hopefully. 

Akaashi cringed at the whole situation. 

Once Akaashi realised how he felt for Bokuto, it was impossible to ignore. He could still act normal enough, but the thumping of Akaashi's heart was louder in his ears than ever before when he saw Bokuto, and he smiled a little more often, and he knew other members of the team had noticed that the redness of his cheeks and ears had nothing to do with practice. 

It wasn't so bad. He could live like that.

Apparently, though, the team couldn't. 

"It's so obvious," said Konoha with a roll of his eyes. "That you two like each other - so what's stopping you?"

"Bokuto-san doesn't like me," Akaashi sighed, wondering just how many more times Konoha will insist this fact. Never had Akaashi seen any signs from Bokuto that implied anything romantic about Bokuto's feelings. They were just good friends; fantastic teammates who worked brilliantly alongside each other. Setter to his spiker, Akaashi knew Bokuto quite well, so he was certain of this.

"You don't have to be so analytical about it, you know," Konoha replied. "Being in love has no logic to it, it just sort of happens, from what I've heard. Bokuto might not even be aware of it himself," he mused.

Akaashi paused and lowered his head. He tried to make it look like he was just thinking, but he was actually trying to stop his cheeks blushing such a deep colour, and he knew if he spoke right now he'd stutter. Love was a strong word for it. If it were love, is it right to keep it locked away? 

Konoha sighed. "Should _I_ tell him?"

"...He wouldn't believe you."

"Not at first," Konoha agreed. "He'd probably splutter, deny everything, start stuttering and run away from me. Then, of course, he'd start overthinking everything, he'd wanna ask you about it, and then he'd probably freak out some more. You know how boisterous Bokuto can be - add a whole bunch of complicated romance and he'll explode."

Akaashi blinked. Their captain was quite predictable.

"I have to say something, don't I?"

Konoha scratched at his nose, but only to hide the slight amusement on his face. "It can't hurt."

"And if it damages the team in any way? I can't allow something like this to ruin Fukurodani."

This time Konoha actually laughed. "Trust me, it won't ruin anything. If anything you two will make us stronger."

Though he doubted them still a little, those were the words that convinced Akaashi to speak one-on-one with Bokuto. 

It was yesterday when Bokuto noticed Akaashi acting weird. He said he was distracted during practice, but only as they were tidying away did Akaashi truthfully tell Bokuto he wasn't ok, and they needed to talk. Akaashi knew the others were listening in then, so later he made sure to take Bokuto where nobody could eavesdrop too easily.

"Is something bothering you, Akaashi?" 

"Erm... I guess you could say that," he replied, keeping his voice level somehow.

"Something's wrong?!" Bokuto's voice elevated suddenly, and he ran ahead a little to stand beside Akaashi as they walked. "You're not hurt are you?"

"No, it's not that," Akaashi sighed. 

"Then what?"

Akaashi stopped, content with the spot he'd chosen to do this. He turned to Bokuto and saw such concern in his senpai's eyes that he nearly fainted there and then. A tiny smile flickered to his lips but only for a second as Akaashi was far too nervous to keep it there. His hands dug deep into his pockets to hide the shaking. 

"I'm afraid I don't know how to do this..." Akaashi said slowly. His eyes kept flicking back to Bokuto, who was leaning closer and closer with each syllable - Akaashi even wondered if he should make his sentences longer and longer until Bokuto was so close that he may as well stop resisting the urge to kiss him and see how that goes. "I... seem to have... developed feelings for you, recently..." He trailed off, now looking anywhere but at Bokuto.

"Feelings?" he asked sounding confused. "What kinda feelings?"

Bokuto isn't stupid. He may seem it, but he isn't. Akaashi waited for the gears to click into place.

"You... you mean... But, there's no way you..."

"I...It's true, Bokuto-san." Akaashi's throat tightened. Bokuto is going to laugh in his face, isn't he? "I fully understand if you need time to think."

"No, no, it's not that-"

"Even so," Akaashi interrupted. "You should take time to... to think." Akaashi's head was screaming _ABORT ABORT_. He couldn't really handle this - the look on Bokuto's face was something he couldn't figure out, but he could too easily see it morphing into a laugh. That would hurt. Even if Bokuto didn't mean it, that would surely haunt him. Bokuto would probably welcome some time to think about how not to laugh in his vice captain's face. "We can't let anything bad happen to the team, after all." 

"I...uh...yeah I mean...but, Akaashi, are you sure?!"

Akaashi smiled a little, glad to see over Bokuto's shoulder that their team members had begun leaving the area. It was enough of an excuse for him to rush off without this meeting ending too awkwardly. "Of course, Bokuto-san."

He jogged off without Bokuto calling after him, and quickly told Konoha what had happened before he rushed off home.

 _Nope, nope_ , just remembering it made Akaashi uncomfortable. He basically told Bokuto that no matter what they felt, the team is all that mattered - _I love you but if it'll hurt our chances of winning, forget about it!_ How insulting! And Bokuto barely got to say anything. Then Akaashi just _left_. Honestly, Akaashi was surprised to get the text late last night from Bokuto saying they should talk again today. It was really quick for him to have made any sort of decision. Or maybe Bokuto just wanted to talk some more, and they'd never really get to any sort of conclusion - which, from the looks of things, would be more troublesome for Akaashi's health than complete and utter rejection.

He shuffled in his seat, sitting up and looking around the train again in the hopes of clearing his head. 

Those signs were still lurking, though. Another couple had taken a seat opposite him and were sat uncomfortably close - though Akaashi thought it actually looked very comfortable - with one man's arm wrapped around the waist of the other. They looked so content, so relaxed. Was it even possible to act like that around someone you love? Must be nice to not feel like your chest will crush your heart if you're not careful.

A train announcement told them the name of the next stop, and Akaashi looked to the door where people were already gathering to leave. Another couple stood there, surprise surprise. Both held onto one of the metal bars to keep themselves steady, but as the train's speed and direction changed, one man let go of the bar so he gently fell into his partner, kissing his cheek as he did. His partner's free hand locked onto his, to keep him steady again, and they kissed properly, not even caring how many people by the door could see. This time, Akaashi didn't stop his smile. 

Surely all of these people felt exactly as Akaashi does right now before they became couples. That's eight people he'd seen who made it through this heart-achingly tough time - and it worked out well for them. Were these signs taunting him, or letting him know it'll be OK? 

Time to find out.

Akaashi made sure he was one of the last to step off the train. The mass of people had already hurried toward the exit, leaving only a few others on the platform. 

Bokuto's spiky, impossible-to-miss hair stood out above the crowd as it dispersed. He'd stood far back from the platform edge, almost shoved away into a corner, and it made the journey Akaashi had to make even longer. Each step was like pulling the petals from a flower - _left foot: he loves me, right foot: he loves me not, left foot: he loves me..._

"H-hi," said Bokuto, his voice higher than it should be.

"Hi," Akaashi replied, realising he hadn't actually thought about what _he_ should say. "So..."

Boktuo jumped straight in. "You like me?" He asked it like he still couldn't believe it, almost scoffing it. 

"I... yes."

"Really?"

"Would I really lie about that?"

"I dunno! It just seems so... I dunno!"

Akaashi hung his head. For a brief moment he wanted to tell Bokuto off for a) not believing him and b) having actually not thought about it this whole time. What had he been doing since yesterday afternoon? Texting Konoha, Komi and the others? Asking what they thought? Or sitting around telling himself Akaashi must be joking? Or worse still, freaking out over how to tell his kohai that he doesn't feel the same way.

"Bokuto please, just tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking... that you look really sad, and I dunno what'll make you feel better." 

Slowly, Akaashi pulled his hands from out his pockets. He held his arms open wide. Only then he realised how huge a gap was between them - was it him or Bokuto who didn't want to stand so close together? Who was more nervous about this whole thing? Bokuto hadn't even said what he felt yet; he might have absolutely no feelings for Akaashi, but still care for him as a teammate and friend. A hug would give a mixed signal Bokuto wouldn't want to send.

Before Akaashi was able to put his arms down again and pretend he never wanted a hug, Bokuto was there. His arms wrapped around Akaashi's neck, and his hands rested gently on his shoulders. Bokuto's head dropped onto his shoulder, too, burying into the fluffy hood of Akaashi's coat. 

Akaashi's hands, shaking a little, found their way around Bokuto's waist and clutched at the back of his coat. He knew Bokuto could feel his racing heartbeat but he didn't care too much. He liked being this close with Bokuto, even if he does get rejected. Akaashi didn't know what outcome Bokuto would give but he knew he wanted to stay like that for a while, so his arms tightened as if to keep his senpai in a vice-like grip there for as long as possible. 

"Akaashi?"

"Hmm?" It came out more like a sigh; Akaashi really didn't want to let go any time soon.

"I like you, too."

"You do?"

"Of course," Bokuto laughed, hugging Akaashi tighter. Then his voice came out more muffled as he deliberately pushed his face further into the fabric of Akaashi's coat. "You're the cutest damn setter I've ever seen."

Akaashi grinned into Bokuto's shoulder, unbelievably happy that the raincloud that had been following him so long could finally be blown away. 

He hoped some of the others around them on the platform happened to be single people bursting with affection they didn't yet have someone to shower with. He hoped they knew that they really could be just like that cute couple one day, too. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed that!  
> The other couples mentioned aren't anyone specific from the anime/manga, but if you want to pretend they are then go ahead and maybe let me know! (I vote Michimiya is flicking her scarf in Daichi's face!)
> 
> Gimme suggestions if you want me to do anything else, I can add it to the list and it MIGHT get done eventually! ;) you can send a suggestion anonymously on [tumblr](http://echoho-ho.tumblr.com/) too!


End file.
